literature

Walking on a tight rope

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Shattered-Mist's avatar
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Literature Text

walking on a tight rope
swaying side to side
if i lean either way
i'll fall

walking on a tight rope
dancing to your music
if i lean towards you
i'll fall

walking on a tight rope
screaming in my silence
if i lean on you
i'll fall

walking on a tight rope
stabbing at my skin
if i can't stand alone
i'll fall
This spawned from me attempting to write a journal entry. So, it isn't going to be revised, if it sucks, i apologize. i'm posting it here because it fits better as a deviation than as a journal entry.

And yes, i meant to write "tight rope" not "tightrope."
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Comments19
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jahg's avatar
Short and clear, though I'm not so sure I can see the difference between "tightrope" and "tight rope", except that when I read it I see an umbilicus connecting a mother and child. I like the repetition, and the flow of the simple language doesn't leave any doubt as to the intent, at least in the opening stanzas. The knife part at the end eludes me, as if there's more to be said than has been up to that point.

The idea that we must stand on our own two feet or fail as human beings is what I get from this. If that's to far over the mark for your poem, then I'll stick with my catchphrase "poetry is in the mind of the reader". ;)

Regards,

James